I Don't Know If Anyone Was Looking for a Wrap-Up, But Here You Are Anyway

Brant, James, Katie, and me at CSC.

It's over. I'm back at home in Sparkle City.

We spent our last 2 days at the Campus Crusade Compound, which was a little sketch, but we appreciated it nonetheless. We did some debriefing, which was basically sitting together, praying, reflecting, talking about our re-entry transition, and sharing our memories and learning experiences. I think it was a really good time all in all, though Brant was sick and then Chris got sick and we didn't ALL get to spend the whole time together.

But on Tuesday night, after we finished up with all the debriefing, we just played games for a while together, and since we had to leave for the airport at 4 in the morning, we just decided that we wouldn't go to sleep. We moved the party into Katie's and my room, pushed the 2 twin beds together, ALL piled onto them and watched a movie on my laptop. The "no sleeping" thing didn't really happen for everyone, but I myself only slept about 20 minutes all in all. We just wanted to spend our last hours together enjoying one another's company. This didn't put any of us in GREAT moods for the flight back to Miami, but it was memorable. I personally enjoyed the bonding experience.

The flight back to Miami was 4 hours. Katie and I both had flights leaving out of Miami shortly after 1:00, and as we were cutting it close, we had to pretty much grab our bags and dash. This meant short goodbyes to everyone, which I personally think was better for me. I almost started crying a little as it was, so if we'd had time for proper goodbyes, I probably would have been a wreck.

It really is kind of a tough transition. We were all warned about it during debriefing--I mean, you go from spending just about every second of every day with 7 other people, and you're going to get ridiculously close. And when you suddenly aren't with them anymore, it's really tough. I knew that it would be. Also, things are just different here in America. For being the world's superpower and being so industrialized and proud of ourselves and everything, we're not all that great. Americans are far more vulgar, far less friendly, and far less healthy than people in the Caribbean (and I'm guessing lots of other places), and we think we have it all together. I notice it in really little things now like I never could have before. Being away has made me appreciate a lot of things we have here more, but it's thrown others into a much harsher light.

And it's been tough being without the gang. The good part of it was that we all exchanged numbers before we left, and James in particular has been texting me a lot, and I've gotten messages from Becky, Graham, and Atalie as well. Also, I've never been more thankful for Facebook, since I've gotten to talk to everyone that way too. And I may have mentioned that we did prayer partners when we were on the island together--a guy and a girl would team up for the week and meet up a couple of times and pray together for each other and for our Project. Well, Graham texted us all on Wednesday night and told us that he thought we should keep it up for a couple of weeks anyway, at least by email, and assigned us new partners. I think that was a good idea. It keeps us more spiritually connected and we have to contact each other to know how we can be praying for each other.

But it is hard to tell others your stories when they don't know the characters.

So, since this is the last post for this blog, I will give you a few bullet points of things I've learned, things I've experienced, etc., so you can kind of grasp what I'm taking away from this summer.

• God is far more capable of handling my life than I am. Without Him, it all goes to ruin.
• Having an intimate relationship with Him is the most important thing you can have in your life. Everything else is rubbish compared to knowing Him.
• God took 8 kids--the smallest Project possibly ever--who were all very different from each other and would never have been friends under any other circumstances, and put them all together on this random island to evangelize to Bajans because it was exactly what they all needed to grow in their relationships with Him and begin to find out how they can exercise their faith. The fact that they ended up being practically family was just a bonus He threw in.
• UWI was just practice. The people there were so willing to talk to you and open up about spiritual matters, even if they didn't believe remotely the same things as you did. And at home, on our campuses, it's going to be way tougher, because people are NOT that willing to talk to you, and you can think of a million excuses to keep quiet anyway. Despite all the discouragement and low points we hit on the campus of UWI, that was not the battleground.
• It's true: once you accept Christ as your saviour, you don't HAVE to do anything else. You can sit back and let life happen. But seriously. If you're not putting forth any effort to serve Him, then what are you doing?
• Once you finally do give those things over to God that you've been holding onto so tightly for so long, life starts brightening up. Just let Him handle it. Give it up to Him.
• People are different. You are not always going to be best friends with everyone you meet. You're not always even going to LIKE everyone you meet. But you do have to remember that God loves that person as much as He loves you and you are no better than anyone else. We're all sinners and we're nothing without Him. You don't have to be best friends, but you do have to try to love them as Christ does.
• One reason I went on Summer Project was because I began to feel really confined, like I really needed to stretch myself (this was the phrase I kept using), and I don't even REALLY know what that means, but I definitely feel like I accomplished that. I LIVED somewhere else--a foreign country--for over a month, and I really developed a heart for that place. It was home for a while.
• I learned a lot just about loving people. It isn't something I'm particularly good at, but I am working on it, and I think that being around so many other really amazing, sincere people who are earnestly seeking God and who are GREAT at loving people really helped me out on that.
• I think the biggest thing that I learned was just to fully rely on God. He KNOWS what He's doing, and you're only hurting yourself when you are stubborn and try to resist that. Just be HIS and let Him work in your life.

The tough part is definitely going to be remembering and applying everything that we've learned, not getting down about how much we miss each other, but just surrendering to God and letting Him use us. The bright side is that our bonds aren't going anywhere soon, and we have one another to hold us accountable. We know what's going on in one another's lives and can be continually in prayer about it.

Basically, this was the most important summer of my life to date and I have returned with a new outlook on how I should be serving my great and mighty God and I just want to thank each of you for your constant prayer and support. It was a bigger part of my experience than you probably realize, and I don't think everything would have gone so smoothly without it. I just can't express to you what this experience has meant to me.

Now it's on to real life, to school, to a bigger battleground, a bigger fight, and the same eternal, loving God.

No Pictures Today

I tried to upload them, but it didn't work out.

I definitely prefer Barbados to Trinidad, if you’re curious, but I’m having fun here.

We got in on Thursday night, and the hotel is not quite as nice as we’d expected. When it’s a really big hotel and it has the biggest water park in the Caribbean (which is really not that big) and a sauna and a gym and stuff, you expect it to be kind of awesome. But it really isn’t. It’s kind of sketch. Kind of dirty. It made us realize how good we had it at the Magic Isle, particularly because we have to travel quite a ways to get to the beach here, whereas we just walked out back to the ocean back in Barbados. However, the shower here is infinitely better than Becky’s and mine was at the Magic Isle.

The conference is going well so far, though it’s pretty intense. Every morning we have two speakers who talk for a good 45 minutes or so at least, and this is after about half an hour of worship. So, I mean, it’s good, but it’s exhausting. And then we have workshops in the afternoon and more stuff in the evening, except that we went to the beach today, which was pretty lame because it was raining. Trinidad is not known for its beaches. But I ate shark and we had some good bonding time, and then tonight made it all worth it.

As I mentioned before, we had to represent America in ten minutes, and we conferred about it several times and really didn’t come up with much other than “I Saw the Light.” And that is just about all we had planned. We were last after all these other countries who were dressed up in ethnic garb and had dances choreographed and everything else, and we just decided to dress up in the most hickish clothes we had and wing it. So we girls braided our hair and put on fake freckles and we got up there and Becky & I taught everyone the dosie-doe and we got up and danced and Graham and Jeffrey played and we sang I Saw the Light and the Happy Song and everyone got SO INTO IT! EVERYONE got up in the front with us and were dancing and singing—the islanders were doing the dosie-doe—and some guy got behind the drum set at some point and then they called for an encore and we sang this awesome song that Graham knew and IT WAS AWESOME! The eight of us white kids led probably a hundred islanders in a huge Southern Gospel dance party! It was amazing! We were SO pumped up and we were just having fun and praising God like crazy. I just wish I had taken a video or something so you could even begin to imagine what it was like.

It’s really cool to be here with so many people from so many different countries. I had a fun time today on the bus talking with these 3 kids from Trinidad, and I’ve met people from Suriname, Guyana, Jamaica, etc. It’s so exciting. It’s so cool to be a foreigner.

I am looking forward to coming home, but NOT to being away from these people. They have become so much like family that it would just be stupid for us never to be together again. We’re already planning reunions. I will miss them even more than I will miss the sea. That said, I cannot wait to get a meal at Cracker Barrel.

It’s pretty late now, so I think I will go wash the eyeliner freckles off my face, finish watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with my Project family and go to bed. Goodnight.

The Last Update from This Particular Island

Brad and Michelle, our fearless leaders.
The beach at Bathsheba. Click on this one to make it bigger and fully understand how beautiful it is. Or at least as beautiful as it can appear in a photograph.
The raptor farm into which Dwayne wrecked our car. More details on that will have to be given in person.
Katie, me, and Dwayne with a baby goat. For some reason, I am known here as the one who loves animals, particularly goats. Which is true, it's just never been an identifying characteristic before. You must admit, though...this is a CUTE goat.
Bottom Bay, one of the most beautiful beaches on the island (though it's pretty overcast at this point, and you may not be able to tell how great it is).

I am going to Trinidad TODAY!

I have been on the campus of UWI for the very last time. It’s weird to think that I’m not going to get another chance to share with people there. We did what we came to do and now the rest is up to God (like it wasn’t the whole time anyway). We had a prayer time Tuesday night, just the students, for all the people we’d met and had conversations with. I think it was a really special and important time. Continue to pray that the seeds we planted will keep growing and that God will really just tug on those people's hearts and keep working on them. There are so many people we’ve met that are just really searching for Him and finding it difficult to see Him. Our hearts have broken just to see these people who are going through things that make them unable to see God’s love. On the flip side, it’s been wildly encouraging to see how much God has already prepared some people to hear His Word and start trying to pursue a relationship with Him. It’s been a roller coaster, for certain, but I have learned more and experienced more on this trip than I could have imagined.

Our last day of witnessing was Monday, and Brad led a girl to Christ. I think that was a pretty awesome way to end this thing. We saw two people come to Christ during our 4 weeks here, and while some may think “that’s not very successful for 4 whole weeks”—perhaps WE would even have thought that a few weeks ago—success is not about a number of people who pray a prayer that's written in the back of a booklet. We were here for purposes that are unknown even to us. I don’t doubt for one second that God worked in people’s lives this summer and that we were here for a reason. If He weren’t going to do anything, we wouldn’t even be here. It was definitely frustrating at times to know that we weren’t meeting that many people and the ones we were meeting weren’t accepting Christ and sometimes we felt a little helpless, but the truth is, He’s doing things way beyond what any of us sees. And at least for me, personally, that is very encouraging to know. This one is not up to me. It’s bigger than I am. It’s being controlled by someone who is far more capable of handling it than I could ever strive to be.

And, of course, completely aside from anyone we’ve met here, I know that God has been working in the lives of each member of our team. I have seen my friends grow in their relationship with Him and been a witness to how He is molding them and preparing to use them in bigger ways than they know. It’s exciting to see this firsthand. Every one of my friends here is well on his or her way to becoming a really godly person and I think we feel that we absolutely HAVE to keep in contact together because we want to be continued witnesses to this growth in one another. We want to know how God is using the rest of our team. We have become so much like family in these 4 weeks and it’s going to be difficult to suddenly NOT be with each other all the time. We are all excited to be going home for different reasons, but we’re going to miss one another terribly.

For our last night in Barbados, the guys came up with a date for us. We’ve been encouraged to do creative team dates the whole time, and on Monday, the girls cooked the guys dinner and served it out by the pool. That was nice enough. But the guys really outdid us (as they should have) and made us dinner served on their ocean view balcony complete with candles and rose petals along the way, a single red rose for each of us, and a trip to St. Lawrence Gap for dessert by the ocean afterwards. We shared some of our favorite memories, most awkward moments, and best quotes of the trip as we sat around soaking up one another’s company for the last time in Barbados. And the invitation to this date was lowered to our balcony by means of Brant’s fishing pole. Brilliantly creative, all of it. But I really think the best part of it was that we came back to the Magic Isle afterwards, where we met up with our good Bajan friend Marvin, and we all spread out on cushions and mattresses in the floor and watched Iron Man, which was followed first by a really intense pillow fight and then by a time of prayer by candlelight. I just think there was no better way we could have spent our final night in Barbados. I’m looking out my window now, completely disbelieving that I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and do the same thing. But our work here is done.

Now it’s on to CSC, the Caribbean Student Conference, which is sort of like the equivalent of our Winter Conferences and things like that. We’re going to be staying at a pretty sweet hotel, I’m not going to lie about that. It has a water park in it. : ) And 24/7 Internet access, which will be a relief. I am not yet sure what all our part in this conference will consist of, but I DO know that we have 10 minutes on stage to represent America. All the countries represented are doing this. We really don’t yet know what we’re doing, but we’re pretty sure we’re going to sing “I Saw the Light.” We sang it in worship one night, and we just had a ball with it and have been singing it ever since. It’s like our theme song.

I’m leaving for the airport in about 4 hours, so I am going to go pack and shower and run by the post office because Melody sent me a package and I never received it. I will update at least one more time before I come home, because I am sure I will have great stories to tell from CSC. And if you are interested in hearing about our experiences on Friday, which were the most memorable of the trip by far, either ask my family or wait until I get home to hear about National Lampoon’s Caribbean Vacation.

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Atalie, Katie, and Graham on the most crowded bus ever
The Heatwave. Our lovely catamaran.
a little boat on the beach in Speightstown
very cool pic of Katie in the water
everyone climbing up the iceberg that essentially caused James to break his face

Monday, we decided not to go to campus. Mondays are probably the days with the fewest people on campus anyway, so we decided to get a little more practice than usual by going to Bridgetown and sharing the Gospel there. Bridgetown is THE city in Barbados. If someone tells you they’re going to town, it means they’re going to Bridgetown. It’s where all ZR’s eventually end up. It’s the hub of Barbados. And that’s where we went to share.

I was with Dwayne and we had Chris as our staff person. He pretty much hung back, prayed for us, pointed out new people we could talk to, and just let us handle the sharing part. I thought this worked well.

So we went up to this lady sitting on a little wall thing first, and I pretty much took control of that conversation. Her name was Chanette, and she was from Guyana. She was just in Barbados to watch the cricket match (have I mentioned that cricket is HUGE here?). So I started talking to her and found out that she had gone to church when she was younger. I think she said she had been 7th Day Adventist, which we’re finding a lot of here. But she just didn’t feel like church was really doing it for her right now. As we talked more, she revealed that she was recently separated from her husband, had been raped when she was a child, had been pregnant six times but only had two children, and just wasn’t sure that God loved her. With everything she’d been through, she felt like he’d sort of forgotten about her, even though she said she prays to him and tries to connect with him. That’s definitely a difficult thing to deal with, and it’s a valid feeling, considering her circumstances. I wished I could have told her a magical solution to all of her problems, but, unfortunately, that is life. So I just talked with her about God and about giving her life to Christ and how his grace covered all of our sins. She totally understood all of it, except that she could not grasp the concept that you could not lose your salvation. That was the main point that was causing us to disagree. And, try as Dwayne and I might, we could not get her to understand that. So it was a little bit tough. I gave her my email address and told her that if she had any questions about God and salvation or just needed to talk or for someone to pray for her, that she could contact me any time. I told her I’d continue to pray for the struggles she was going through with her marriage and for her to be reassured of God’s love for her. So I’m doing that, and it’d be awesome if you would too.

Then we went up to a guy on a bench who was listening to the end of the cricket match (Australia won!) and started talking to him. His name was Curtis and he knew a lot about the Bible. He could quote scripture backwards and forwards, but he was just never really clear that he’d accepted Christ as his savior. Dwayne took the lead on this one, and he said that he figured he could ask Curtis a thousand questions and he’d get them all right, so he just went ahead and pulled out the 4 Spiritual Laws and went through that with him and he said that he was definitely going to be thinking about it, that it was a lot to digest. Totally valid. The cool thing was, he said that he was really wanting to get back involved in church again (he’d been raised Baptist and then Adventist). And there is a Southern Baptist couple who is trying to start a church in Barbados, and we’re looking around for people that might be interested in getting plugged in there. So we got his contact info and are going to give it to Keith, our crazy bus driver, who will give it to the couple. So something good definitely came out of that.

Then we met Colin Williams. He was an old man sitting on a wall who stopped us to ask us the score of the cricket match. We started talking to him, but it turned out that he would rather talk at us. He had lots of good thoughts, but he mostly just wanted to hear himself talk. Which was fine, because we were more than happy to listen. Of course, right before we left, he asked us if we were husband and wife, and when we heartily denied, he asked if we were together. Again, we said no and he said we should work on that and went on a spiel about how you can just tell when some people are meant to be together. Once we left, I told Dwayne that I loved him, but I just didn’t think we should get married. He concurred. We’ve had lots of fun teasing about it though—I thought I could get him to pay for my lunch, because that’s what husbands do for their wives, but he wasn’t too cooperative. Stubborn boys.

I really enjoyed our time in Bridgetown. Brad talked today about what a relief it must be to be back on campus, because it was so much easier to witness there, but I disagree. You didn’t have to search for anyone in Bridgetown, so you had no excuse NOT to share with someone. There was no escaping it, and I liked that. Going up to share Jesus with someone is a pretty nerve-wracking thing to do—you get nervous and kind of scared. But that’s what we’re here in Barbados to do. That’s what we’re here on Earth to do. So when you’re in a situation where you kind of HAVE to do it, it just makes it that much easier. It’s like, “suck it up, kid, it’s not like you have anything better to do.” Does that make sense? I liked not having a choice about whether to share, because then none of my human excuses were enough. Plus, after the rather sparse success we’d had on campus last week, 3 conversations in one day was REALLY encouraging. It was more than I’d had all week. I mean, it’s not about the numbers, but I like to have as many conversations as I can. Plant those seeds.

So we were back on campus today, and it went all right. Better than last week already. James and I teamed up at the beginning and we talked to a lady named Charmaine. She did not act like she wanted to talk. She didn’t make eye contact, she mumbled, I had to ask her to repeat stuff. Difficult situation when you’re trying to share the Gospel with her. She was also a 7th Day Adventist and she kind of equated baptism with salvation and said she’d never been baptized. She pretty much understood everything except that baptism doesn’t save you, but she just wasn’t ready to take that step. Honestly, I felt like I kind of copped out on this conversation, because I didn’t know what to say to her, she was intimidating and unfriendly, and I wanted it to be over. But I gave her the 4 Spiritual Laws and told her that there was a prayer in the back that she could go through and then kind of left her alone. So that was probably bad, and I don’t feel too good about it, but it happened and it’s sort of done now.

Then James had to meet with Chris, so I met up with Graham and we found two lady students sitting over by the Guild—Janine and Kimberly. Janine I think was a Christian actually. She said she wasn’t absolutely sure she was going to Heaven, but as we talked through everything, she sort of realized that her salvation was fixed and she didn’t have to doubt. I believed that she really knew God. Kimberly, however, was 50% sure and no matter how much we told her that God’s grace covered all of her sins, she just felt too much guilt—she couldn’t believe that she was really forgiven. We gave her the 4 Spiritual Laws, and we’re meeting back with her on Thursday. I don’t expect her to show up, but I hope that we at least got her to really start thinking about where she is in her relationship with God.

So that’s what the last couple of days have looked like. As far as the home front goes (well, the temporary home front anyway), my teammates and I have been having a blast. We play games almost every night—Mafia, Buckwild, Apples to Apples, Imaginiff, Big Booty, card games…the guys are pretty much constantly playing poker. That’s what men do, right?

I think that leaving will be an odd thing. Being away from home—REALLY away, because an hour and a half away from my house is still home, it’s still the South—has been beneficial to me, because I have suddenly realized that there are things about home that I forget that I love. I love a lot about the South, but because I am always there, I take these things for granted. I think that my appreciation for my home will be greater after this absence. I will enjoy returning to the South and I will be happy to back in contact with things like pickup trucks and banjos and Cracker Barrel. But I will miss the sea. I will miss waking up to see it outside my window every morning and imaging what future commands Captain Marcus Thatcher will give to his crew with that ocean as the backdrop. I will miss lying in the sun and hearing the waves and standing at exactly the right angle where a wave gently breaks on half your body and lightly sprays the other half. That is a truly blissful feeling. I will miss the ZR’s and random goats and monkeys and the friendly people who are so willing to talk to you about God. But I can deal with those things, because public transportation is not that great and I have plenty of animals at home I can adore and the people back home I can share with—well, that’s just a challenge I’ll have to face. But the sea…that’s what I’ll miss the most. It’s what I’ll dream about at night.

Fun weekends are uplifting to the spirits.

Graham's flip off the boat
Brant, post-boat attack
Brant jumping off the ship
The world's most awkward and hilarious picture
Graham below me, under the boat. I'm pretty pleased with this photo.

Katie and I made cupcakes for the outreach. Pardon my horrifying shirt.
All us girls waiting on the bus
Graham, Katie, and Atalie, pre-snorkeling
sea turtle!
Dwayne's backflip off of the boat

As you can tell by the pictures, we've had some pretty awesome times this week.

I'm not going to lie--the ministry part is difficult. It's summer school, as I told you, so there just aren't that many people on campus. And sometimes you only talk to one person a day, sometimes you don't talk to any...and THAT can be discouraging. This week, I didn't share the Gospel with one single person. And that doesn't really make me happy, but I have to remember that it isn't about a number, and it isn't about what I can do. It's about what God is going to do through me, with me, despite me, etc. And I did have two conversations this week--one was with 2 girls, and we talked about spiritual things, but it just didn't lead to sharing the Gospel. It was really good to talk to them though. They had really good opinions and were very talkative and willing to share what they believed. The other conversation was with the president of the student guild. So, I mean, he's a pretty important person, and he knows why we were there. We gave out cupcakes on Thursday as an outreach, and so even more people at least know about Crusade and know how to get involved or just that they can ask questions if they're interested. And I mean, you never know what God's going to do once you're out of the picture. You want to physically see results, but you don't always. Sometimes you just get them talking and thinking about spiritual things and you have to let God do what He's going to do.

And just personally, I don't think that Satan wants us here. Because seriously, everything that can go wrong HAS gone wrong. There have been very few students, it has been raining like a beast, some of us have had low spirits, and by this point, MOST of us have had something physically go wrong with us--Katie got sick, Graham broke out into mysterious hives that made him sit out for a day, I got stung by a jellyfish, Brant tore up his back on the boat and looked like he'd been attacked by a shark, and James got hit in the face with Chris's elbow, which caused him to get 5 stitches. I mean, none of this is greatly interfering with our ministry, but doesn't it kind of seem like we're getting attacked? In pretty much every way possible? And I kind of think that Satan just doesn't want us here, because we're here for a reason, and as long as we're all healthy and positive and available, then we're going to be of some use. So I think that everything that has gone wrong (and probably will continue to go wrong) is just interference so that we can't accomplish what we're here for. Think again, Satan. A little rain never hurt anybody.

And we have had some adventures. On Friday, which is our day off, we wanted just us students to spend it together, gallavanting about the island, and so we hopped a bus to Speightstown, which is the worst town ever, and whoever told us it was touristy lied. We were the ONLY white people there, and there was NOTHING to do. We ate at this place called Pizza-Man-Doc, which wasn't even good, and eventually, we found public access to the beach, which was very calm, and so I could go quite far into the water, and we played around in the ocean and had seaweed fights for about 2 hours. Then, we went to the art exhibit there, and then we caught the longest bus ride back of my life. We spend MOST of Friday on a bus, too, because we had the lime that night, and got on the most crowded bus I've ever been on. There had to be 100 people on it. People were standing up, all squished together, it was hot, it was miserable. So we finally got to the lime and were EXHAUSTED because you have to go up this ridiculous hill to get to the STINTers' apartments, and we played Yahtzee for a couple of hours. Then we trekked back DOWN the hill to catch the 11:00 bus, which didn't come until about 11:45. Like you all expected, life moves slower here in the Caribbean. I'm afraid I'm going to be late for everything once I get back in the states, because I'll be running on Bajan time. I fell asleep on the bus coming back and would have definitely gotten left if someone hadn't caused the person next to me to jostle and wake me up. It was a long day, we spent most of it on a bus, but it was good for adventure and team bonding. I wouldn't want to do it again, but I'm glad it happened.

Then, yesterday, we spent the day on a catamaran (sp?). It was AMAZING! I mean, everyone else got to get out and snorkel with sea turtles and see a shipwreck and stuff, but I love boats so much that I was perfectly content just to be on it for 5 hours. And they fed us amazing food and drinks and took good care of us, and then on the way back, we went through some big waves which splashed over us and it was AWESOME! I loved it. I still felt like I was on a boat as I went to sleep last night. I'm a little burned, but I'm mostly just getting dark, which is awesome.

Anyway, we're going to listen to a church sermon in a few minutes, so I should go get ready. Keep praying for all of us and commenting and being supportive. It really helps me.

Encouragement Bags are Called Such for a Reason

First, a couple of pictures, and then the explanation for the title:
Atalie, Riquel (who is from Antigua), Becky, and me before our Crusade meeting

a hilariously awkward picture of Brant, James, and Katie

a lovely spot in one of the UWI courtyards

As part of our leadership meeting and Team Care's job (Team Care pretty much consists of Brant & James--usually just saying "Team Care" and high-fiving one another), we decided to do Encouragement Bags. We all got Ziploc bags and put our names on them and taped them on our walls, and the point is that others will write you little encouraging notes and slip them in your bags. It can just be a verse or "have a good day" if you want, but we've all gotten very personal about it. All of our notes say what we like about one another and notes something admirable that the recipient has done, or something like that. It was really just something kind of fun to do, but Encouragement Bags really are encouraging! You find out what parts of your personality come across to other people, and sometimes you are genuinely surprised. It always puts a smile on your face to get a note in your bag. I fully intend to keep all of mine and do something with them--make a Barbados collage or something and put my notes all over it.

You know, I will definitely be excited to go home when July 2nd rolls around, but these are really amazing people that I'm going to be spending my next 3 weeks with (I leave THREE WEEKS from today--CRAZY!), and I'm definitely going to be sorry when we have to part ways. We're all such unlikely friends, which is, I suppose, why God put us all together in the way that He did. He knows what He's doing.

Highlights (and Lowlights) of the Weekend

Here are a few pictures first to give you some idea of what all went on this weekend:

Chris stops his game of Ultimate Frisbee to strike a pose.

Crane Beach. My pals jumped off the cliff that's right at the center of this pic.

Katie and I sit to the sidelines and cheer on our team during Sports Day

my pina colada cheesecake from the Harlequin Restaurant...delicious.

a rousing game of Spoons at our lime on Friday night

I don’t have any new interesting or encouraging stories to tell about the ministry we’re doing here, but here are a few fun tidbits about what’s been happening in my life.

We hosted our weekly lime (American translation: party) at our place on Friday night. It was lots of fun. We mostly just hung out and played games. Apples to Apples, Spoons, and Catchphrase (aka my new favorite game). We had lime jello and were supposed to have limeade, but that didn't really work out (clever though, no? LIME!). But we had a lot of people come, we had fun, we eventually got a noise complaint, and we went to bed probably later than we have the whole time. We go to bed early here--it's because it gets so dark so early. In Barbados, you always think it's later than it actually is.

We went to Crane Beach on Saturday, which is apparently a big deal. I didn’t really think it was all that fascinating but that might be because I almost immediately got stung by a jellyfish. It wasn’t that big a deal—it was a baby one, which was good, because Michelle said that that kind can get pretty nasty when they’re older, but it still hurt quite a lot. No permanent damage, though. I just had to wait a while for it to stop stinging. Other people seemed to enjoy the beach a lot—they jumped off a cliff into the ocean, so I guess that kind of thing is pretty fun if you can swim.

And Saturday night was first frustrating, but turned out well. We got kind of invited by the guys to go to a movie with them and one of our new Bajan guy friends. But after much debate over where we would go and to which movie, it turned out that the guy had really intended it to be JUST for guys. So we didn’t really know what to do, and we were bored and irritated and it wasn’t going well. But then Daniel, who is in charge of our training and is just a really stellar guy, suggested going to St. Lawrence Gap, which is this touristy place by the water with lots of restaurants and vendors and things. So we went with him and Chris to this really colorful and nicely lit restaurant for dessert. I got pina colada cheesecake, which was delectable. And the thing about Daniel is that he ALWAYS has games to play, no matter your environment, so we played high school, where everyone tries to guess what everyone else was like in high school and then they find out how right or wrong they were. And then he just asked us all lots of fun questions, like, “what are 2 things you love and 2 things you hate?” and “what is one thing about you that is misunderstood?” We were so irritated at first that the guys had kind of flaked out on us (which they really hadn’t—it was just a miscommunication), but we ended up having a really lovely time.

However, it was still a rough weekend for me, personally. For some reason, Sunday was just the day I decided to be extremely homesick. I was just really missing the South and my family and my pets and things, so it was kind of rough. And we didn’t really do anything that day. We listened to a really good sermon that morning, but then we just hung out by the pool, mostly. That night, we had a leadership meeting, and I (along with the rest of the girls) got very frustrated with everyone (privately, of course. I didn’t blow up or anything). I was just like, “I don’t even want to be here, and you’re making me want to be here less by goofing off when we have things to do,” which is, of course, ridiculous. No one was that horrible. I just had a bad attitude. I was missing home and I didn’t have any patience and so I went to bed very unhappy. One of the girls here, though, Katie, is pretty amazing, and she knew that I wasn’t happy and she checked up on me and prayed for me, which definitely helped. Just the encouragement and acknowledgement of my feelings was enough to brighten me up a little. So that was just a rough day altogether. Plus, everyone tried to teach me to swim that afternoon, and since I can’t do it, I got very frustrated with myself and my abilities and I got tired and hot and exasperated and it didn’t help my attitude. However, everyone was lovely to try to teach me, and some people were unexpectedly very encouraging.

However, my attitude from Sunday sort of segued me into Monday, so that I was feeling a bit better, but not like being very polite or reserved or anything. So it’s not that I was rude or terrible to people, but I was just sort of uninhibited, which turned out to be a very good thing. My lack of thinking about what to say before I said it really brought ME out, and I think people were exposed to a side of me that has as of yet remained hidden. Plus, I shared my story, my testimony, as it were, with the girls at our women’s lunch today, so telling my emotional story and being the center of attention for a while really sort of wore me out today, which added to my lack of discretion in speech (that sounds so bad, but lack of discretion is usually good for me every once in a while—it gets me out of my shell).

We had our sports day on campus today, which is not, of course, my favorite thing. I just sort of sat off to the side and read my Bible, because no one was really there for our first sports day, and I was certainly not going to be any good on the field. So I felt like I didn’t really get anything accomplished today or this weekend, and I was feeling pretty discouraged.

But we did some pretty good girl bonding today, and we got some encouragement from Chris and Daniel, so we baked them cookies. And we decided to go out for gelato, just us girls, but Graham and Dwayne decided to come and ended up treating us to our gelato. So I was really frustrated with myself and everyone else over the weekend, but it turned out well, with some friendships being solidified and some bonding happening and some definite encouragement from both the people here and from my answered prayers. I just ask that you would continue to pray that I would keep my focus solely on God and on doing what He has me here for. Also, please be praying that we would have more ministry opportunities this week. Since it’s summer school, there aren’t just a heck of a lot of people around, and we’re getting to everyone we can get to, but we’re looking for just MORE people. So be praying for that and keep on being encouraging, because you really are, and it really helps me.

a few pics to tide you all over

the view from the overlook at UWI

all the girls at Bubba's to watch the NBA finals...or just take pictures

an amazing old church in Barbados

Brad, Graham, Brant, and Daniel on the rocks

Katie, Atalie, and me on the rocks (it was windy--forgive the hair)

some pretty cool-looking buildings we saw whilst on our tour

an old hotel in Barbados that we saw on our tour of the island

Our first full week is over!

Just a quick update today, as we're spending our Fun Day at Crane Beach (which is apparently a big deal--it's on the Travel Channel and stuff).

Wednesday on campus, we met a lady named Marlene who really confused us. She said that she was a Christian, that she had a passion for God, that she walks with him closely, and all of her answers were right. She talked about accepting Jesus as your saviour, and she knew what she was talking about. But she was only 95% sure of going to Heaven. We asked her what was keeping her from those other 5%, and she said something like, "I'm just really hard on myself and if I get to 95, God will give me the rest." I'm not sure what that means, but no matter how much we told her that God's grace could assure her of 100%, it was like she didn't want to hear it. 95% was all she could get to. We all left her very confused. It was difficult to even know what to ask her, just because she HAD all the answers--there was just something off. Continue to pray for her, that things will click with her, and if she's not right with God, then she will be. And if she is, then pray that she realizes that her sins are covered, so she can be 100% sure.

Also, we met a girl named Sasha. She seemed very reluctant to talk to us, but she did it anyway. Most of her answers, though, were just, "I don't know, I'm not sure, I really don't know." She wasn't sure she was going to Heaven, didn't know how to tell anyone else how to get there, etc. We went through the book with her, and it was like she understood it all, but just didn't want to accept it. It was kind of tough. We discovered later, though, that Atalie and Michelle had also talked to her--not shared the Gospel, but made another appointment to hang out with her on Monday. So we'll see how that goes.

Thursday, Graham and I were supposed to meet back with Adrian and Paula. They didn't show up. We have to anticipate that that kind of thing will happen sometimes. It's not the end of the world. Just be praying that God would keep working in their lives. I know that He was.

That was the only thing I really did on Thursday, because Graham was sick and I stayed with him until close to the end of our time, when I met up with some of our other team, but we didn't find anyone else to talk to.

Friday was our day off, except that we hosted the lime last night, which was lots of fun (though it's difficult to host things when you just want to go to bed, as all of us girls discovered. We played Apples to Apples and Catchphrase and had jello and cupcakes and sat around and chatted. It was lots of fun. And today we're going to Crane Beach, as I mentioned, so that should be fun. Keep praying and commenting and emailing, etc. It really just makes my day to hear from you guys. I love it here, but I'm definitely missing you guys, and it's good to hear your...well, not voices, but your words.

Update after a few days on campus

Our wireless Internet at the apartments has a virus, so we're unable to get anything. I am currently pretending to be a businesswoman at the swanky resort next door so that I can use their Internet. What escapades we have down here.

We started on Monday going to the campus (University of the West Indies, for those of you who don't recall). We've already seen some cool things happen. Graham and I were paired together the first day and immediately met a guy named Adrian and a girl named Paula. Adrian knew a lot about the Bible, but felt like he didn't really know God, and Paula was pretty certain that she was going to hell, though she had recently begun reading her Bible (which makes me think that our timing--God's timing--was pretty awesome). Both of them rated their desire to know God very high, and we went through the Knowing God Personally booklet with them. They were VERY interested and you could tell just by looking at them that God was working on them. We're meeting back with them tomorrow to see what questions they may have.

Then, we met a boy named Saabir. He told us that he was very organized and liked to plan out his future, and that one of his short-term goals is to accept Christ. He just hasn't taken that big step yet. So we went through the booklet with him as well, and he definitely understands everything, he just is timid about taking the plunge. We met back with him yesterday and he said that he hadn't made the decision yet, but that he thought he might be ready by next week. He just didn't want to make a rash, emotional decision. Which is valid. We told him to think it out, be sure, but once he's sure, not to wait, because you never know what tomorrow will bring, which he thought was a good point. So we'll probably see him again next week and see where he's at. Be praying for him, for Adrian, and for Paula.

Also be praying for Rosanna. She is a Jehovah's Witness that Atalie, Becky, and I met yesterday. She has a lot of knowledge, but she's still operating under the assumption that she may or may not be one of the 144,000 that make it into Heaven. So we went through the book and told her that she didn't have to live life wondering if she would make it in or not. She was kind of closed off. It was like she believed what she believed and that was it. But she rated her desire to know God as a 10, so she knows that she doesn't have a relationship with him.

Everyone here is so willing to talk about spiritual things in a way that Americans never are. If you bring up spirituality in America, it will almost inevitably lead to a political debate and people are always belittled and insulted. It is not that way here. Even when people don't agree with you, they are willing to talk to you. People are ready to hear the Gospel here--they just need someone to tell them. Lucky for everyone, that's why we're here.

The very first day, Brant and Brad (our director) led a guy to Christ. The very first day. That was so far beyond what anyone could have anticipated. God is definitely doing things here. Pray that our team would remain encouraged, that our attitudes would remain positive even when we are rejected or shut down (which we have been).

Other than that, things here are good. The tops of my thighs are very burned right now, which is weird, and the bugbites are really getting me down, but everything else is good. I've been really getting to know my team a lot better this week, which has been great for our bonding and for my attitude. Especially since we had our women's lunch, things are going a lot more swimmingly. We're getting to know one another on a deeper level, and that is so important for our enjoyment of our time and for our ministry. The four of us girls are going to be sharing our stories with one another in the next couple of weeks, which I'm sure will increase our closeness even more. I'm looking forward to finding out what has shaped who these girls are.

View from My Balcony

Training Continues

Yesterday, we went on a scavenger hunt in Bridgetown, which is the capital. I had to chase down a lady to ask her for directions, but apparently that was a positive thing. I guess it said something about my initiative. We got offered drugs four times on the street. The buses here, called ZRs (pronounced Zed-ars) are ridiculously crowded, and when you think more people can't possibly fit in, they do. And they play really loud reggae/rockish music. It's crazy and awesome.
We met the STINT team, who are all very nice and very helpful and very interested in us. We ate dinner with them at Chefette, which is the Bajan fast food place. I had roti, which is like curried chicken and potatoes wrapped up in a tortilla. It was pretty good, though I didn't really care for the potato/chicken ratio. Too much tater.
Then we got back and played a fun and ridiculous game with them, which was good just for getting to know one another.
Today, we did some training, which I actually really enjoy. It's good to have the STINT team here to help us figure out what we're going to say to people on campus when we meet them. And just the training and intense prayer we get in is awesome, and really puts me in the right frame of mind to spend my summer serving God.
Later on, we did some team-building activities on the beach--four-legged races with three people, sandcastle building, human wheelbarrow races, etc. It was fun. I got to know a couple of the guys a little better. And then we just chilled on the beach together, and I went further into the ocean than I've ever been before. Everyone is very cool about my inability to swim--a couple even swear they're going to teach me.
It's fun getting to know everyone. It's not something I'm particularly good at, but then again, that's probably just another of the reasons why God put me here for the summer.
We have a "lime" tonight, which is their word for party, pretty much. We'll have one every Friday night, where we just chill out, eat, play games, watch movies, etc. There will probably be some Bajan students there, which I am looking forward to.
Thanks for your prayers, emails, comments, IM's when my connection works, etc. It means a lot.

At Last!

I am here in the Caribbean.

I got into Miami last night at about 6, where I was picked up by two of my PD's and started out expanding my horizons by going out for Thai food (not too shabby, by the way, though I still prefer Indian). We spent the night at Brad & Michelle's house--them, our 2 other directors (Chris and Daniel), 4 guys (Graham, Dwayne, Brant, and James), two of the girls (Atalie and Katie), and me. Close quarters, but it was fun.

We left for the airport at about 6:30 this morning. Miserable. I wasn't even conversational yet. But it was okay, and the flight was good. I slept a little. We got here at about 1:30, and I can promise you that the Caribbean is just as beautiful as you always thought it would be. Turquoise water with white surf, palm trees swaying in the breeze... that kind of thing. It's a different kind of heat than we have in SC. In SC, it's just burning sun, beating down on you all the time, and you kind of hate to even be outside in the summer. But here, it's like a heater is on all the time--it's weird. It's like the heat doesn't even come from the sun, it's just in the air. But near the sea, it's perfect. The breezes keep the heat down to a minimum, so it's just warm and perfect. The ocean feels like bathwater. It's pretty incredible.

Last night was fun. We played Apples to Apples for a long time. I almost won, but the last turn got me. Apples to Apples is a good way to get to know people.

We're still in that stage, of course. You know me. I'm ridiculously shy and the only things I ever get stressed about are my relationships with people, so this is the thing that I'm going to have to work on during this trip. We are making friends, of course. I like absolutely everyone here. I just want us to be really tight and for this to be a summer that really means something to all of us. Pray for that.

I made a Bajan friend on the beach today. (You pronounce that BAY-juhn or BAY-zhun, by the way. Like Asian, with a B.) It was an old man (Bajans are VERY dark, by the way. Don't let Rihanna fool you) and he was talking to Chris and Graham and asked me to come over and he asked if I was on a Christian mission, and I told him that I was. He asked my name and where I was from, and said he was more familiar with the North in the USA. He was asking if I knew any good Christian songs and stuff, and he asked if I was behaving myself as a Christian. He told me to keep God in my heart. I told him I was very glad I had met him.

I hope that was a hint at things to come. I mean, it wasn't a big deal, but you know how much I love foreign people (though I suppose that I'm actually the foreigner here) and that's a major part of why I'm here, and I hope I have many more encounters with people like Anthony (that was his name) and some who are maybe less confident about their relationships with God than he was. I hope to have enough confidence of my own to share Him with them.

This is so unlike anything I have ever done. It's scary in a way--the nervousness finally did hit me. There was a point today when I was just like, "WHAT am I doing here?! I don't know these people, my family's not here, I could be at home playing with my dogs and talking to my sister and I'm here with strangers in a foreign country! I don't even have iTunes here!" But I prayed and calmed down and I AM praying, as constantly as I can manage. I would love it if you would do the same. We've got a lot to deal with here, with each other and with all the new people we're going to meet.

Here's the deal: I think that, each time I update, I'm going to ask you to pray for something specifically. Today's charge is to pray that my group would get really close and form lasting friendships. Get past the initial awkwardness and really get to know one another as brothers and sisters. Pray for that, and everything that follows will become much easier.

Also...to bring my straightener was utterly pointless. There is no use for it in this kind of weather. It will be a waste of energy.

We start briefing tomorrow, and we'll meet the STINT team and do a scavenger hunt they put together for us so that we can get to know the island and what sort of things we need to know to do our job. Stay tuned, folks.

Today is the day!

This time tomorrow, I'll be in Miami.
This time the next day, I'll be in the Caribbean.
It's all a little surreal.

So Close...

I am but a week away from being in Barbados. LESS than a week away from leaving.

My family will be taking me to Atlanta on Monday, from which airport I will be flying into Miami next Tuesday afternoon, where I will meet up with all the other students going on my project. We're spending the night at our Project Director's house, and then leaving bright and (VERY) early the next morning for the airport. Our flight is at about 10 AM, I think, so we should be there at about 3 PM (again, I think).

I am SO excited for this to finally happen--I don't know if things ever really hit me until about a day before they happen, so I'll probably be very calm until Monday, at which point my heart will be pounding, my palms will be sweating, and I'll be yawning a lot (that's just one of my personal quirks--I yawn repeatedly when I'm really nervous). This is totally unlike anything I've ever done before, and really it's about as far out of my comfort zone as I could get. I'm not a very social or particularly friendly person and it takes a certain amount of effort to get to know me, so the fact that I am going to a foreign country with a bunch of other kids I've never met before with the express purpose of talking to OTHER kids I've never met before...it's a stretch for me. And there is no possible way I could ever do it on my own. I KNOW that God is going to do amazing things in Barbados because He's already done amazing things just in getting me to this point. And I am going to have to trust Him 100% if this trip is going to have anything remotely resembling an effect on anyone involved.

Continue to pray for me, folks. I know that you've all been very dedicated about doing that because I can see the effects of your prayers. Pray until the second I get on that plane and then keep praying for the next 5 weeks. Pray for my group to form tight bonds with each other sot that we can be a more effective team (and make some amazing friendships). Pray that the hearts of the students at UWI will be open to hearing God's message. Pray for our safety in travel, and pray that God will work tremendously in our lives and the lives of the Bajans. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support, financially and emotionally. It's so cool to see God providing through others as well as seeing how excited some of you have been for me to have this opportunity. I appreciate it so much.

(Quick plug, as well: you can still contribute to this trip financially if you wish, by sending checks made out to Campus Crusade for Christ to my home address [1620 Houston Drive Spartanburg, SC 29307] for the next week.)

A Brief Overview

For those of you who don't know, I am spending five weeks of my summer in Barbados with a group from Campus Crusade for Christ. We're going to be ministering to the students at the University of the West Indies, which I am so excited about. I've put up this little blog to keep you all updated as I prepare to go, raising support and trying to finish school with my sanity intact and such, and I will try to update it as much as possible while in the Caribbean.

Let me explain the title of my blog just a bit: first of all, it's essential to understand how very important words are to me. I'm an English major, a grammar guru, and I fancy myself a bit of a wordsmith. So not only are words very important to me, but I'm a big fan of plays on words, and I have lots of opportunity for those being a Christian whose name is Grace (Amazing Grace, Grace Greater Than Our Sin, let's all say Grace, the list goes on forever). The title of my blog, however, is not from a hymn (though the address is. It's part of a line from Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, which is one of my favorite classic hymns. "Tune my heart to sing Thy grace." That song is so beautiful and so meaningful). It is from a poem by the famous Scottish poet Robert Burns. As someone with a distinctly Scottish heritage, it is practically my duty to hold him in reverence, and I do. This particular quotation however, speaks of people's "sighing, canting, grace-proud faces, their three-mile prayers and half-mile graces." It isn't a positive description of people, but I chose it anyway, for two reasons. 1) It has such a nice ring to it that I simply couldn't pass it up; and 2) I'm not accustomed to being very far from home. While a half a mile is a bit of an exaggeration, I really have not ever been very far from home--this is the first time. Five weeks spent more miles away than I can probably count. So I sort of began thinking of myself as a "half-mile Grace," since I'm such a homebody, and realized that I would need more than three-mile prayers in order to make it through this trip. Maybe that doesn't make sense to any of you, but I thought it made an appropriate title for my blog, and thinking of what the line actually means will be likely to keep me in check--make sure my humility, attitude, and grace are intact.

So that's what I'm asking of all of you. Your prayers, from many more than three miles away.

In news on the actual Barbados front, I am chugging along on support. I am up to $2575 at this point, and the total cost of my trip is $4350. According to one of my project directors, with whom I had a conversation yesterday, that is right about where I need to be. So that is a big relief. Keep praying, though, since I still have quite a bit left to raise. If you're interested in helping me out financially, please make all checks payable to Campus Crusade for Christ, and send it to my parent's address: 1620 Houston Drive Spartanburg, SC 29307.
Also, I am now Facebook friends with everyone going on my project (it's a tiny project--there are only about 12 of us, so we should all be great friends before it's over), so it's very cool to have a face on all the names and know a little about one another.

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. More news will be along soon.